The Next Generation of Men Are Watching | Allan Kehler

I met many men this week who have carried their pain for too long.

Our body spends great amounts of energy trying to keep emotional pain suppressed within. I strongly believe that darkness begs to see the light of day, and that healing begins when we put a voice to our pain.

When we neglect painful emotions, they have a tendency to escape in unhealthy and inappropriate ways. For example, I spent years being so angry and yet I had no idea why I was even angry. Anger is a secondary emotion, and in order for me to heal I had to identify what drove my anger in the first place.

While it is easier to deflect, the act of healing requires us to slow down and face our pain. Initially, I had to make a conscious decision to feel. Staying up in the head is a way to cut off the heart. As soon as I allowed myself to feel, I was able to make a connection with my body.

Feelings are a natural part of being human. Therefore, it is important to accept feelings for what they are. And while the act of feeling initially caused me to experience some discomfort, I had to reassure myself that this process would not destroy me.

There is a good line that says, “Cry now so our children won’t have to.”

Men. We must give ourselves permission to feel.

There is an entire generation of young boys after us that needs to see us show some emotion. They need to understand that asking for help is a strength not a weakness.

As men we need to put a voice to our own pain so that their path can be easier.

“What’s stronger than a broken man who has the courage to rebuild himself? It’s time to redefine what it means to be strong.”

- Allan Kehler