Don't Fix. Listen. | Allan Kehler

Have you ever tried to fix someone?

Did it work?

As a counselor and even as a friend, it took me a long time to understand that I had no right to fix someone. Who am I to decide what is best for another individual?

To truly understand someone means that I have to listen to them. However, talking about one’s challenges does not come easy for many.

After letting an individual know that I would be happy to listen if they needed to talk, the ball was now in their court.

When they were ready for a conversation, it quickly became evident that all I needed to do was create a space where they felt comfortable talking about their pain. 

Reflect on your own experiences when you contemplated sharing something personal with someone. I guarantee you could tell pretty quickly who was sincere, genuine, and compassionate. Seven percent of the way that we communicate is verbal. So where is the other 93 percent coming from? 

Pretty sure you can answer that.

So, after I created the space, all that I had to do was listen. 


Elders always remind us that we have two ears,

and one mouth for a reason.


Darkness begs to see the light of day.

Rather than thinking that you need to fix someone, remember that everyone just wants to be seen and heard.



“What’s stronger than a broken man who has the courage to rebuild himself? It’s time to redefine what it means to be strong.”

- Allan Kehler