Today, I returned to a place where I almost lost my life.
I had just finished teaching a class and my body collapsed under the weight of a destructive lifestyle. After reassuring my students I was just fine, I made it into the men’s staff washroom, looked in the mirror, and came face to face with my mortality.
I was not fine.
I have returned to Edmonton many times since, but never to this school. Until this afternoon.
I thought back to when I had written my note, and a doctor had warned me I had a month to live if I didn’t change.
As many of you know, the Canadian federal government recently announced plans to indefinitely exclude individuals whose sole underlying condition is mental illness from eligibility for Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID). And I am grateful for that because I remember desperately wanting the pain to end.
But here’s the thing… I didn’t need my life to end. I needed my life to change. And while that change never happened overnight, I made a commitment to myself to do ‘the work’.
I am sharing this because I am living proof that hope is real and healing is possible.
Please remember that pain is not forever.
